Well-being and social emotional skills are SKILLS that can be taught. Furthermore, SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGISTS are uniquely positioned to be leaders in delivering this work in schools. In this workshop, participants will learn about different models of delivering social emotional learning and well-being skills in schools. Differences, similarities and best practices across programs will be discussed. In addition, participants will learn about the innovative well-being programs that I have used in my school. Get ready to walk away with meaningful ways to benefit your students, staff, and yourself.
BLOG (JANUARY): Happy New Year!
It’s that time of year when people reflect and set “new goals” or “New Year’s resolutions” for themselves. As you can imagine, it is easy to make New Year’s resolutions, but much more difficult to complete them. When I reflect on the goals that I have been able to maintain or the goals my patients have been able to achieve, the following three strategies were most effective.
1. Make it Positive.
The best way to accomplish a goal is to operate from a place of “yes” rather than from a place of “no.” To see how this is true, try doing some simple exercises with me.
First, shake your head “no.” When you shake your head “no,” what do you feel? Now, nod your head “yes.” What feelings arise? If you are like most people, when you shook your head “no,” you might have felt the muscles in your face tighten, an increase in negative emotions, and even a tendency to take a step back. However, shaking your head “yes” is often accompanied by feelings of peace, acceptance, and happiness. So what does positivity have to do with accomplishing a goal? We often try to accomplish a goal by telling ourselves “no”— no more cake, no more hitting my younger sister, no more feeling anxious. However, when we focus on the no, it is human nature to fight it (we actually take a step back). By focusing on the “yes,” or the positive benefits of changing a behavior, you will find it easier to achieve your goals.
2. Shine a light and keep the light on the goal.
It often feels like we have an “angel” and a “devil” on our shoulders directing our behavior in very different directions. The “angel,” often in a quiet voice, encourages us to take actions that will meet our long-term goals, whereas the “devil” voice, almost without thinking, pushes us to give in to what feels good in the moment. So what can we do to beat that devil voice? Keep your goals front and center.
Two ways I have found to keep your goals front and center are by using Advantage Cards and/or a daruma doll. An Advantage Card, a technique I learned from attending a workshop on CBT strategies for weight loss given by Dr. Judith Beck, lists all the advantages of accomplishing your goal. However, it is not enough to make an Advantage Card, you must also commit to reading it every day. By reading your Advantage Card, you are reminding yourself consciously of why accomplishing your goal is so important to you. (To learn more about Advantage cards go to https://beckdietsolution.wordpress.com/).
A daruma is a Japanese doll created for goal setting: you color one eye to set the goal and when the goal is completed, you color in the second. While working on your goal, the one-eyed daruma watches you and serves as an ongoing reminder of what you are trying to achieve. My patients have used darumas to help them be more organized, lose weight, or speak more respectfully towards their parents. I have used a daruma to help me stay out of the kitchen at night and complete my manuscript for my upcoming book on teen grit. (See daruma website for more information -https://www.welovedaruma.com/en/about_daruma.html).
3. Make it easier to reach your goal and harder to fail.
In his book, Before Happiness: Five Actionable Strategies to Create a Positive Path to Success, psychologist Shawn Achor writes about wanting to run more and watch less television. So what did he do to accomplish this goal? He took the batteries out of his remote control and slept in his running clothes. Think about what you can do to make it easier to achieve the behavior you want.
First, do not take on too many goals. Instead, focus on changing one area or one behavior at a time. Break your goal down into small, manageable steps so your overall goal does not seem overwhelming, especially at the beginning when you are the most likely to give up. Pre-commit and make it public. Pre-committing makes it more difficult to change your mind. For example, I write down in my planner the classes I am taking at the gym that week. By making it public (sharing your goal on social media) or by having an accountability partner who will keep you on your toes, you are much more likely to follow the “angel” voice. We are also much more successful when we set up our environment in a way that promotes our goals instead of thinking we can put ourselves in a tempting environment and not give in. For example, I have been trying not to eat late at night. I found I was much more successful when I did not go into the kitchen after 8pm instead of thinking I could just go into the kitchen and not be tempted. Remember, everyone messes up sometimes. But, often when people get off track they overreact, turning a small problem into a bigger one, or by blowing off the rest of their goal. In this way, a simple lapse can end up causing more damage. Instead, acknowledge the lapse, but give yourself credit for getting back on track.
Just one last thought- instead of just focusing on what your goal will mean to you, see if you can connect your goal to a higher purpose. Ask yourself, how can my goal not just benefit myself, but others as well? When we are passionate about our goals and can tie them to something outside of ourselves – we can truly SOAR!
Wishing you a happy and a healthy NEW YEAR – a year full of successes.
Please see my website (drbaruchfeldman.com) for additional blogs, articles, and presentations and follow me at twitter at carenfeldman@carenfeldman.
July Blog: Facing Your Fears and Learning Along the Way
“It was great…, it was hard!” Katie Ledecky, age 6
I fell off the bike. It happened. My greatest fear had occurred. However, instead of being the disaster I had created in my head, it was freeing. But wait, let’s travel back a little earlier in the day for some context.
I had decided for my last day of my spa vacation, that instead of getting another massage, I would challenge myself with some mountain biking (yes, I know some of you are thinking – she is crazy). I signed up for the beginner class, feeling both confident and apprehensive: confident because I had mountain biked twice before; but nervous because mountain biking does not come easy to me. To be totally honest, it freaks me out. You may be wondering given my lack of both skill and confidence in this area, why would I choose mountain biking instead of sitting by the pool? Because I believe strongly that there is no better feeling than accomplishing something that takes courage and strength.
So with this in mind, here are three things I learned about facing my fear through mountain biking.
1. You need grit!
To face a fear you need to be gritty. I needed a combination of persistence mixed with perseverance. When I literally could not get on the bike seat (the bike seat on a mountain bike is much higher than on a street bike), I needed to try and try again. When I fell off the bike while trying to get on the seat, I needed to pick myself up and learn from the experience. What I learned was that although it felt safer to stay closer to the ground, this approach was not working. I needed to stand up taller and be further away from the ground to get on the seat. What helped me to do that was staying present as opposed to freaking out in my head. Breathing and looking at where I needed to go was better than spinning in my head. What also helped me was making this ride about purpose. Although I wanted to get on and stay on this bike for myself, I also chose to engage in this activity because it helps me with my patients. Mountain biking helps me tap into the feeling of, and be more empathetic, with my many patients who struggle with fear and anxiety. Thinking about how this activity could benefit others gave me the needed drive to continue and persevere.
2. You need an optimistic mindset.
When riding the bike, I needed to make a conscious effort to maintain a positive mindset and note my improvements as opposed to focusing on what was still not achieved. It is human nature to focus on the negative and what has not been accomplished (e.g., making s-turns in the sand or riding over bigger rocks). I tried to focus on my growth and progress. I am glad to share with you that eventually I was able to consistently get on the bike and stop jamming the bar of the bike into places that cause pain. Having this optimistic and positive mindset allowed me to persist, be more resilient and grow from the experience.
3. You need your cheerleaders.
My ability to fall and pick myself up would not have been possible if I had not been in the company of my best friend and a supportive guide. My cheerleaders set high expectations for me: “Go back and practice those s-turns because we know you can do them!” while at the same time singing my praises when I was able to stop on a dime and go over logs on the road. Their combination of high expectations and unwavering support was essential for this journey.
So it may still seem a little crazy that the highlight of my spa vacation was one in which I fell. (Just so you know, there were awesome massages, food and classes too). But, if you are like me, there is no greater reward than rising to a challenge and mastering it. Thank you Miraval, Marcia (my best friend) and my husband and kids (who took care of the house and dog) for this awesome experience.
I recently had the privilege to present on teen grit at the International Festival for Positive Education in Texas. To see a short interview of my talk go to:
Please check out my website at drbaruchfeldman.com for additional blogs and articles.
BLOG (January) May the Force of “Social Support” Be with You
I recently saw the movie, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. If you are in the 1 percent of people who haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend you see it, and DON’T READ FURTHER because serious spoilers will be revealed in this blog.
However, for those of you who have seen it, I was wondering if you gave any thought to R2D2’s miraculous awakening? R2D2 is seen in a coma-like state midway throughout the movie, presumably because he misses his master, Luke Skywalker. So the question is, why did R2D2 wake up and, more importantly, how was he able to wake up right on the heels of Han Solo’s death.
Although I read an article indicating that the writers chose to have R2D2 wake up in order to lighten the dark mood following Han Solo’s death, I think this is only a partial explanation. On a psychological level, I believe what caused R2D2 to come back to life was his drive to connect. This desire to connect with others is hard wired in all of us during times of stress or challenge.
I often see during times of sickness or death that individuals and communities come together and create a sea of caring and connection. It is through this sea of caring that resilience follows. How does this play out in Star Wars? It is only after the death of Han Solo that R2D2 comes alive, and the necessary part of the map to finding Luke Skywalker becomes available. Then, the final mission of finding Luke Skywalker can be and is accomplished.
So what can we take away from Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Not that you’ll be fighting intergalactic missions, but rather that when faced with stress or a challenge, our body has a natural mechanism that drives us to turn to others. And, through this social support, we actually grow and become stronger, allowing us to ultimately cope effectively with stress and accomplish the missions we set out for ourselves.
If you are interested in learning more about the power of social support and the upside of stress, I highly recommend Kelly McGonigal’s Ted Talk on “How to Make Stress Your Friend.” https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en. This Ted Talk has been viewed by over 9 million views (less than the number of people that saw Star Wars, but still quite sizable). Dr. Kelly McGonigal in her Ted Talk summarized Dr. Poulin’s important work on how caring creates resilience.
Also, if you are interested in learning more about resilience and caring, I highly recommend, Dr. Robert Brooks’ “Continuing Thoughts About Resilience: What We Can Learn from Military Veterans.” This November blog as well as many other terrific blogs can be accessed by going to www.drrobertbrooks.com.
May the force of “social support” be with you, Caren
Please check out my website at drbaruchfeldman.com for additional blogs and upcoming events.
VIDEO: It’s Not About Willpower- Make It A Habit: Creating New Year’s Resolutions that Stick is now available online
Great News! If you missed my “It’s Not About Willpower Make It a Habit” workshop that I gave at the Scarsdale library on Jan 5th it is now available online on SPTV.
If you want ways to improve the likelihood of sticking to your New Year’s Resolutions, tune in to https://www.scarsdalepublictv.com/uncategorized/its-not-about-willpower-make-it-a-habit/
Also, email me at email@example.com, if you would like a copy of the power point. Wishing everyone a happy and healthy New Year. :) Caren
DECEMBER BLOG- Creating Lasting Changes Without Using a Magic Wand – New Year’s Resolutions that Stick!
It’s that time again when people start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. The real question is how can you make effective and long lasting resolutions?
Often I see children and adults who desire change, but when faced with making this change, they fall back into old habits. On a personal level, I have experienced “wanting” to change, but not being able to do so. But about three years ago, I made a change in my life that in the past I struggled with. Specifically, in the past I had tried to lose weight, but I just couldn’t. However, this time, I approached this change differently, and I am happy to say that although it is still challenging, I have been able to maintain this change: the weight is still off.
In this month’s blog, I would like to share with you what I have found to be helpful for myself and others to create lasting change. No, I don’t have any magic wands or spells; however, with the right outlook and the right behavior, you too can make more effective resolutions – ones that will last past Jan 15th.
1. Focus on the Positive:
For change to become lasting and meaningful, we must train ourselves to focus on the positive. We often try to change ourselves and others by saying “no” – no more yelling, no more fear, no more cake, or no more running in the halls. However, when we focus on the “no,” our natural reaction is to step/push back. Science teaches us that to make lasting and real change, we need to come from a place of JOY and a place of “YES”! For me, this approach was the big difference between success and failure in terms of my weight loss. In the past, I approached weight loss from a place of “no” – what I had to give up in order to lose weight. This time, I was able to focus on the positive aspects of my personal journey rather than on the deprivation.
2. Make it Easy to Be Good and Harder to be Bad:
In his book, Before Happiness: Five Actionable Strategies to Create a Positive Path to Success, psychologist Shawn Achor writes about wanting to run more and watch less television. So what did he do? He took the batteries out of his remote control and slept in his running clothes. This simple trick made it easier for him to stay focused on his long-term goal of running rather than giving in to what may have made him feel better in the moment. Environmental cues have a tremendous effect on our behavior. We are much more successful when we create an environment that promotes our desired behavior instead of thinking we can put ourselves in a tempting environment and not succumb. For whatever change you want for yourself or for your children, make it easy to be successful and hard to fail.
3. Willpower is a Limited Resource So Make It a Habit:
It is best to transform those activities that require willpower into habits. Once the activity is a habit, it is automatic and no longer needs to draw upon the limited resource of willpower. For example, flossing is a habit for me. It doesn’t take willpower for me to do it. However, for my son, who has not made flossing a habit, he has to use willpower. The good news is that with my continued encouragement (yes, I said, “encourage not nag”), flossing will also turn into a habit for my son and will eventually be effortless and automatic for him as well. By the way, tooth brushing was not a habit originally for my son, and I am happy to say it is now a habit for him.
4. Write it Down and Be Specific:
Write down what you want to take on– the more specific, the better. For example writing, “I will walk at 7:00 AM each day for 25 minutes,” or “I will have patience with my daughter during math homework,” is better than just thinking “I will exercise” and “I will have patience.” To increase your success, write down your thoughts and be specific.
5. Get Social Support:
Let others know that you are working on a goal and try to incorporate them into the goal. By letting people know what you are doing, you pre-commit and have a better chance of changing your ways (this is one of the secrets of Weight Watchers). In addition, when you are faced with a challenge or feel like giving up, you can turn to your supporters to get you back on track. Getting social support can be the difference between quitting and continuing.
6. Stand Firm, No Wavering:
One way you can be sure to stick with a goal of any kind is to tell yourself that there is no other choice. It is the wavering that causes all the trouble. Once you start having an internal dialogue, like “I know I’m late, but it is only a few minutes…,” you have lost the battle! Don’t get into the dialogue. Instead, stand firm. Make it a rule. I often think about this in terms of my decision to keep kosher. I don’t eat lobster and am not even tempted to do so because my decision to follow Jewish dietary laws makes it impossible for me to even consider it (it’s a rule). In contrast, once you permit yourself to debate the issue, you make it much more difficult to stick to your goal.
7. Practice Meditation:
Practicing mindfulness meditation for a few minutes each day can actually boost willpower by building up gray matter in areas of the brain that regulate emotions and govern decision making. Paying attention to what’s happening in the moment, what’s going on in your body, your mind, and all around you, can make it easier to pay attention to choices you make throughout the day.
8. Bring Your Resolution to the Forefront with an Advantage Card:
I first heard the idea of an “Advantage Card” when I attended Dr. Judith Beck’s Workshop on Cognitive Behavioral Strategies for Weight Loss. The idea behind the Advantage Card is to put in writing the advantages for your new, positive habit and to read it each day. It can be used for any new habit you want to create. I have used Advantage Cards with children that focused on the advantages for calling out less, decreasing procrastination, or being less anxious. The Advantage Card is an effective tool because it places in the forefront what you want to accomplish in the long-term. However, it is not enough to have an Advantage Card. You need to pre-commit to where and when you will look at the card. Take a minute now and make an Advantage Card for a habit you want to change. Or, encourage your child to make an Advantage Card for what he/she wants to change. You can’t change others so you can’t write an advantage card for another person (e.g., my child will pick up his dirty laundry). Once you have written your card, pick a time and place to read it. Many people choose to read their card first thing in the morning and to leave it on their night stand or in the bathroom. It only takes a minute to read, but it is well worth it.
9. WOOP it out.
Huh? Dr. Gabriele Oettingen, the originator of WOOP, discusses this principle in her recent book, Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation. So how does WOOP work? The idea is that when one tries to develop a new habit, one should first imagine what it would feel like to have this wish (w) and outcome (o) occur. But then, just as important, one should imagine what the obstacles (o) are that prevent one’s wish and outcome from occurring. Lastly, one needs to make an if-then plan (p) for this obstacle. For example, if I wanted to yell less at my children that would be my wish (wish). If I yelled less, I would be happier, my kids would be happier, and I would be a good role model (outcome). However, I don’t do this because the need to be right and getting my frustration off my chest takes over (obstacle). My plan then would be if I find myself yelling then I will remind myself that this is counterproductive and take a step back rather than a step forward (plan). Dr. Mischel discusses in his book, The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control that the beauty of an if-then plan is that it gives you time to consider your options and be better able to activate the cool, goal-oriented part of the brain, instead of acting based on what the hot, immediate gratification part of the brain wants.
10. Don’t Overreact When You Mess Up:
Everyone messes up sometimes. But often, when people get off track they overreact, turn a small problem into a bigger one and lose sight of their goals. In this way, a simple lapse can end up causing more damage. Instead, acknowledge the lapse, but give yourself CREDIT for getting back on track.
I hope these ideas inspire you. Wishing you a happy and a healthy holiday season and one where your “wishes/resolutions” come true.
Please check out my website at drbaruchfeldman.com for additional blogs and articles and follow me on twitter at Caren Feldman@carenfeldman. I will be presenting on this topic (IT’S NOT ABOUT WILLPOWER: MAKE IT A HABIT) on Dec 20th from 7-830 at Congregation Ohav Sholom, 145 S. Merrick Avenue, Merrick, NY and on January 5th 7-8 at the Scarsdale Library, Scarsdale, NY. To register please go to: https://calendar.scarsdalelibrary.org/event/2269140
It’s Not About Willpower – Make It a Habit: Creating New Year Resolutions that Stick
Do you make resolutions every year, but find them hard to keep? Do you struggle with willpower? This free workshop reviews the latest research in habits and willpower, helps you develop your own positive new habits, and teaches the secrets of making New Year’s Resolutions that stick. There will be a special emphasis on weight loss.
To register please go to: http://calendar.scarsdalelibrary.org/event/2269140
BLOG (November) – Welcome the Burn
“Welcome the Burn”- Harry Otto, Fitness Instructor at Lifetime Athletic Health Club
In my last blog, I discussed the challenges of being a “lighthouse parent”. To review, lighthouse parenting as described by Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg in his book, Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love with Expectations and Protection with Trust: The Lighthouse Parenting Strategy allows children to ride the waves, while providing guidance so they don’t crash into the rocks. This style differs from helicopter parents who are constantly hovering anxiously overhead, or snowplow parents who would remove the rocks from the ocean. I think we all can agree that hovering and plowing are not best, but rather being a lighthouse parent is something we should strive for. Despite the fact that I am a child psychologist and a relatively mindful human being, I struggle in my ability not to nag, hover, or snow plow when it comes to my own parenting style.
So the question is why? I think the reason is that I struggle with the “burn”? What do I mean? When I start to let go or not hover, I start to feel anxious and instead of embracing the nervousness (the burn), I want to do something to get rid of it (i.e., nag).
However, I don’t do this in all aspects of my life. In contrast, when I am at the gym and taking a class like “Extreme Limits”, I welcome the burn. I don’t drop the weights, but instead I see the burn in a positive light. I see it as evidence that my body is changing (in the right direction).
So how can we apply this to our parenting?
1. See the burn associated with letting go and not hovering as a positive, as a sign of growth. Reframe the experience of anxiety in a positive manner. See for example, your heart pumping and the tightness in your stomach as a sign that you are going in the right direction. Yes, it can feel scary to let go, but we always need to remember the very big picture (the 50 year plan we have for our children).
2. Just like I wouldn’t take on too much all at once at the gym (I don’t pick up 40 pound weights when I am only used to 10 pounds), similarly start small. So for me, maybe, I will still nag and hover about the bite plate (equivalent to 40 pounds for me), but I will try to step back about what socks my son has chosen to wear (10 pounds).
3. Although you need to start small, you can’t go too small (reducing hovering by .1%). Lifting 1 pound weights at this point won’t change my body. So although starting small has merit, if we go too small, we won’t achieve the changes we are looking for.
4. Remember that by picking up the weights regularly, it gets easier. I remember when I could only pick up 5 pound weights, but now after consistently doing the work, I can lift more. By consistently making an effort to hover less, it will be easier to parent more effectively.
5. I will follow Harry’s instruction to “pick up the dumb bells in order to make my arms lighter”. Now on the surface that doesn’t make sense. How does adding weights to your arms make your arms lighter? However, Harry was right. When I first did the exercise with the weights and then did the exercise without the weights, my arms felt not only noticeably lighter, but stronger. So how does that translate to parenting? If we do the hard work now, later on it will be easier.
In summary, we need to reframe the burn we feel when we let go (not hover) as a sign that we are on the right track. We need to make a commitment to the work, knowing that eventually it will get easier. Furthermore, we need to remember that the burn may feel uncomfortable, but if we embrace it and don’t drop the weights, we (parents and children) get the positive results that we all are looking for.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Please check out my website at drbaruchfeldman.com for additional blogs and articles and follow me on twitter at Caren Feldman@carenfeldman.
If you are interested in learning more about lighthouse parenting I recommend, Dr. Ginsburg’s book, Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love with Expectations and Protection with Trust: The Lighthouse Parenting Strategy.
In addition, great news, if you missed my flash webinar: Be a Beacon: Lighthouse Parenting for All it is now available online at Expert Online Training’s website.
Be a Beacon: Lighthouse Parenting for All – October's Flash Webinar
WORKSHOP: It’s Not about Willpower: Make It a Habit
Do you make resolutions every year, but find them hard to keep? Do you struggle with willpower?
If the answer is, “Yes”!
Come hear Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman as she 1) reviews the latest research in making effective habits and understanding willpower, 2) helps you to develop your own positive, new habits and 3) teaches you the secrets of making New Year’s Resolutions that stick. Come ready to change!
Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman who grew up at Ohav Shalom is a practicing psychologist who has lost 25 pounds using these principles. Dr. Baruch-Feldman works part-time in the Harrison schools and maintains a private practice in Scarsdale. Providing in-services and presentations is a highlight of Dr. Baruch-Feldman’s professional life. She can be reached at 914-646-9030. Her website is drbaruchfeldman.com. Follow her at twitter: Caren Feldman@carenfeldman.
BLOG (September): Keep the Good Feelings of Summer Alive, Year Round
“Hello.” It is such a simple word, yet so powerful. I recently experienced the power of “hello” while at Lake George. If anyone has ever been to Lake George, it is all about the lake and boating. I grew up on the water and have warm memories of boating with my family. For those of you who are less familiar with boating etiquette, it is boating protocol to say, “hello.” For little kids, adults, people on big boats, or small boats – when you see another boat or a person on land you say, “hello”, and give a big wave. The question is why? When you are in a car and you stop at a light you don’t say, “hello” to the other motorist or passengers. In fact, it is often the opposite. In a car, people would be put off by a “hello” and the only hand gestures I have seen motorists use have not been very pleasant. So my question to you is – is it the fun of boating that makes everyone so friendly, or does friendly make boating so much fun? I think it is a little bit of both. Boating is fun, which puts us in a good mood, and being in a good mood makes us friendly and happy.
Although summer vacation is over, here are three easy ways to keep the warmth and good feelings of summer alive, year round.
1. Smile and say, “Hello”
Smiling is contagious. The underlying, neurological reason for this reaction is that we all have mirror neurons. Mirror neurons mirror back the emotions of others. Therefore, when we are in the presence of smiling people, we feel happy (boat people). The converse is also true. When we are surrounded by irate and impatient people (often motorists), we mirror that emotional energy as well. So how can we use mirror neurons to our advantage? We can smile. At school, I smile and say, “hi” to all. I have trained the kids so that when they see me, they smile too and say “hello.” The exchange of smiles and hellos starts our days off on the right foot. It’s so easy and costs nothing, so if you want to improve your mood, the mood of your family or the larger community, say, “hello” with a big smile.
2. Be Bucket Fillers, not Bucket Dippers, and Use Your Lid
We at the Harrison Avenue School have made a commitment to be bucket fillers. You can fill a bucket by acts of kindness to yourself and others. When you fill a bucket, you and the other person feel good. When you dip into someone else’s bucket, you dip into your own. Lastly, protect your own bucket and the bucket of others by putting a lid on it. When we fill others’ buckets (by being kind), we not only bring joy to them, but also reward ourselves. It nurtures us and makes us feel good.
3. Focus on the positive
Human beings have a tendency to focus on the negative. This negative focus may have helped us in our caveman days to ward off saber-tooth tigers, but can be detrimental in our current lives. It is important to proactively change our focus and search for the wins rather than the losses. If we focus on the negative, this negative focus will become prominent in our lives, and without meaning to, it will change our moods and attitudes. Conversely, if we focus on the smiles, the laughs, and what we are accomplishing, we will feel happier and more fulfilled.
So my challenge to you is even though the summer is fading, let’s create the same cheer and warmth year round. Whether young or old, big, or small, make sure you give a warm greeting, be a bucket filler, not a bucket dipper, and always try to focus on the positive.
Wishing everyone a terrific beginning of the school year, one filled with joy and happiness. I promise you that when you see me I will be saying, “hi” and waving to you as if we were passing each other in boats.
Please follow me at twitter at Caren Feldman@carenfeldman or check out my website at drbaruchfeldman.com for additional blogs, articles, and presentations.